Do you struggle with perfectionism – always striving for flawless results, yet feeling dissatisfied no matter how much you achieve? While aiming for excellence can be healthy, being a perfectionist can cause stress, anxiety, procrastination and even damage relationships.
In this guide, we’ll explore the signs of perfectionism, why perfectionism is harmful, where it comes from, and practical tips to stop being a perfectionist with mindset and behaviour changes so you can live life with more freedom and joy.
What is Perfectionism and Why It's Harmful
Many people with perfectionist tendencies believe” If I do it perfectly, “I’ll be worthy” or “If I get it right I can’t fail”.
But perfectionism often stems from fear of failure or fear of judgement, and can hold you back from trying new things. It can lead to:
- Procrastination – avoiding tasks through fear they won’t be perfect
- Overthinking – wasting hours fine-tuning small details while neglecting the bigger picture
- Burnout – pushing yourself beyond healthy limits-affecting stress and mental wellbeing
- Self-criticism – never feeling “good enough” despite achievements
This is why perfectionism is harmful- not only to productivity but also to mental health and emotional wellbeing.
Signs of Perfectionism and Mental Health Effects
Recognising the traits of a perfectionist is the first step to change. Common signs include:
- High Expectations of yourself and others
- Fear of making mistakes
- Low self esteem and self doubt
- Anxiety and constant worry about performance
- People pleasing to avoid criticism
- All-or-nothing thinking – something is either “perfect” or “a failure”
Perfectionism is closely linked to perfectionism and mental health struggles, including anxiety disorders, depression and eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia.
Where does perfectionism come from
Perfectionist habits often start in childhood. You may be prone to perfectionism if:
- You had critical or demanding parents or teachers
- You received praise only for achievements, not for effort or character
- You grew up with unrealistic expectations placed on you
- You rarely received feedback, leaving you unsure what “good enough” looks like
These patterns can create a lifelong fear of “not measuring up” and lead to overly high personal standards.
5 Practical Tips to Stop Being a Perfectionist
If you’re wondering how to overcome perfectionism in daily life, these strategies will help:
1. Cut yourself some slack
Stop expecting to ‘leap the stairs in one bound’. Progress is gradual. Ask yourself: Does this task really need to be perfect, or is “good enough” enough?
2. Avoid Projecting Perfectionism Onto Others
Perfectionists sometimes become unintentionally controlling. Let people be themselves, even if they don’t meet your exacting standards. People are who they are, regardless of how you feel they should be. ‘Perfect’ for one person is not perfect for another person. How do I like my poached eggs?
3. Use humour to break the tension
Humour helps shift perspectives when things go wrong. Laugh at small mistakes instead of catastophising them.
A ready sense of humour depends on being able to shift perspective quickly, which is an essential skill when things don’t work out as exactly as you had hoped.
4.Redefine Mistakes
Mistakes are learning opportunties, not disasters. Without them you’d never grow. Even history’s great successes – like Alexander Flemings discovery of penicillin – came from failures.
I’d like to tell you a little story………Are you sitting comfortably then I’ll begin…….
Long ago Persian rug makers used to put a little error, small mistake in their rugs, one knot was wrong, so as not to offend god, by trying to be perfect. Knowing they had made one mistake somewhere meant they could stop worrying about knot being perfect.
Don’t fear mistakes or use the possibility of imperfection as an excuse not to start things. If the journey is worth making, false starts or temporarily getting lost don’t matter if the final detination is achieved.
5. Focus on Effort, Not Outcome
Shift your attention to making the attempt rather than obsessing over the final result. This builds resilience and reduces fear.
Why "Good Enough" is the New Perfect
Let go of the myth that perfection equals success. Instead create a personal “good enough” threshold and stick to it. When you stop sweating every detail, life becomes lighter, more adventurous, and more rewarding.
If you’re looking for ways to stop perfectionist thinking, try intentionally leaving a minor imperfection in your work, just like the Persian rug makers, or setting a strict time limit to finish a task without overediting.
Final Thoughts of Letting Go of Perfectionism
Overcoming perfectionism is about balance – valuing quality without letting fear or unrealistic expectations control your life. Start small: allow yourself to make a minor mistake on purpose, try something new without over-planning, or share work before it’s “ready”.
Remember: What’s perfect for one person might be imperfect for another. The real goal is progress not perfectionism.
Oh and by the way I like my poached eggs with a nice firm yolk thanks!
